missing....

It is a melacholy rainy day and I am working while listening to the radio and it seems that every song is about missing someone. I can relate today. My grandmother,, Hester Russ left this earth March of 2005. I still miss her all too much. It took me a good year and a half to take her phone number off of my cell phone. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Changing phones made that not a choice anymore. There are days that I still pick up the phone to call her to tell her some pointless story of my life and then suck in my breath for the pain of realizing that I can't call her anymore. She always seemed interested and listened and asked questions, not hurrying to talk about herself or anything else, just seemingly content to let me ramble or rant or rave or whatever I wanted to talk about. And I'm sure it helped that she always sided with me!! (LOL) She would offer me similar stories or a little advice after I ran out of steam. There were times I would call her and say hey these are the ingredients I have in my kitchen cabinet and freezer, what can I make for dinner and sure as the world she would come up with something and laugh and say what are you gonna do when I am not here. Well we will survive on take out, grandmama, I'd answer.
I do feel blessed that she did get the chance to hold three of my four babies. I know lots of people who would love to have that memory, so I feel guilty for wanting more time. Who am I to complain, really? in the grand scheme of things. When I know lots of friends who lost grandparents and even parents very young.
Hamlet and My Russ grandparents were always home to me..no matter where I lived. Soon as we saw those lowland pines, I could feel my soul sigh...home. I knew that everything would soon be okay, that no power under heaven could harm me there..where I was loved and protected. Where I was listened to and treasured. I wish everyone that feeling, a place , a person where you are most important, where you feel loved and accepted no matter what. Where you can go, if not physically but at least in your memory where your soul sighs and your heart says All is well, you are here and you are safe.
There is not a place now, the house has been sold, my grandparents are physically not with me but I can remember and I can try with all my being to me that place and that person for someone in my life. I only hope that I am successful.

My Sweet Boy

I know as a mom you are never to say that you have a favorite child, but every once in a while one moves up a notch in your heart for a particular reason. Course, the very next day that particular child moves down and another rushes in to take his spot!! A joke around my house is...when one of the boys asks me "why" usually regarding why won't I let them do something or have something to eat before dinner, I respond with "because you're not my favorite today."
--Well Sunday, number three son was my favorite for a window in time. On the way to church he innocently pipes up from the back seat "mom, is it okay that I told another boy about God?" As my heart swells and I tune out the brothers talking, I respond with Of course..tell me about it. He then proceeds to tell me in his 7 year old innocence, how when the teacher was out in the hall with another teacher, a child sitting next to him said something about going to church. My son said to this child, well then you know about God? The child said, "yes, God is a ghost." Well, my little man was appalled and said "no God is not a ghost. God lives in Heaven and he cares about you and me." I asked what the child said then and my son said that the boy responded with a thank you for telling me that, and my son said you are welcome.
Talk about warming your heart!! Now I know the child may have heard something about the Holy Ghost in church and with Halloween coming and all was just confused, but still. My little man was unafraid to speak up and sure about what he said. What more could I ask for? So for the Sunday morning drive...he was my favorite!!

Tackling the Ocean

We made a trip to the beach over spring break. It had been a L-O-N-G time since we had walked in the sand and played in the waves. The youngest of the boys had never been there and the second to the youngest didn't remember ever going ...so a packed car and a DVD player, movies and (thank goodness) headphones and we were off!

The Hotel looked good on line....in actuality the pictures were much better than the actual place.But hey the kids are not picky, a couple of pools and beachfront and they were happy. Luckily kids do not have incredibly high standards.

so despite less than perfect weather....they tackled the ocean.....hand in hand

A tail of 2 dogs

We have a dog. Good 'ole Sadie, a mix of Rottweiler, Chow and Shepherd. She's a good dog, never gave us a problem, fierce sounding protective bark, easy going and very tolerant of the kids and all the torment they have put her through over the years. Loyal and dependable, just a good ole dog.

It must also be stated that Sadie , at the ripe ole age of 14, has earned a retirement of sorts. So what do we do to help ease her into old age gracefully.....

That's right..... a puppy.

But it's not entirely my fault or even my son's fault, (who saw him first)..I mean really..look at that face

I mean really it's entirely futile to resist. Of course, that was last spring.... and now we have this face.........
And this face is Crazy! This dog, Domino, or the Devil (affectionately,of course) makes my ADHD child look calm!. He has destroyed food bowls, water dishes, rubber toys, patio furniture, and even the siding on the house! He has escaped from collars, tie-out stakes, and fences. He will chase anything that is crazy enough to cross his path or that the wind blows and likewise will bark at it ( and the wind blowing). He thinks that Sadie's tail is there to entertain him. And no matter how many times she reminds him ,sometimes quite painfully, that her tail is not a chew toy, still he persists. He is crazy! But this dog, crazy as he is and I , we have a bond. You see, when he was still new to the world , and to us, he contracted Parvo and I, a squeamish person, learned to give a dog an IV. So here we are....me, the boys, the coach (who feels the need to point out that this dog was not his idea) Sadie and Domino..Wish us luck!

My sister in law had several old school maps that were going to be tossed. And they ended up at my house, still not sure how that happened. One cold afternoon the boys were driving me crazy and I threw the maps out on the floor with several permanent markers. Heaven!! We are allowed to mark on these? They questioned me, after reassuring them that they would not get into any trouble.. hours of bliss followed. They drew and scribbled all afternoon. It was great!! Who needs toys?

After the Holidays

After the holidays you suddenly have new stuff, which you must have find a home for..and while you are looking for a "home" ...really.....

it tends to park, wait and accumulate on any available surface...which explains this picture...

This is my youngest...who apparently could find no place to play with his trains and so took over the kitchen. This remarkable engineering feat occured while I was in the shower. Never leave that kid alone for too long...

It does lead to the question..why did not the sweet one use his expensive train table for this adventure....

or perhaps another available surface, such as the kitchen table......

oh well that explains that...the new stuff's temporary home. Moral of the story.....just move things and PLAY ON!! BOYS! PLAY ON!!